Sadness
Hi all. Thank you so much for your kind messages and support over the last year and a half of the rollercoaster we’ve been on since my mum’s diagnosis. Sadly, we learned today that the pancreatic cancer wasn’t going to lie down and take it despite surgery and radiation and chemo, and it has metastasized to her liver. This is in all likelihood a terminal diagnosis (pancreatic cancer is a bitch and a half, she has already lived more than a year beyond the normal prognosis for someone with pancreatic cancer). She is now in palliative care and being well looked after, she is as comfortable as she can be. We have to do what we can to maintain some degree of normal life during this sad time, but please excuse me if I do not want to talk about it or if I am not my normal snarky self, sometimes you need to NOT think about the giant horrible looming inevitable thing in your life, you need to think about puppies and work and shopping and agility in order to stay halfway sane. We have had a long time to prepare ourselves, but that doesn’t really make it suck any less, it just makes us more prepared. I have sadly had a lot of experience in this area over the last several years, and it really does somehow help to know what to expect, even if “what to expect” is, well, what this is. My mum is being her normal brave English self throughout, wisecracking and apologizing for causing such trouble and worrying about us. She’s my mum. The best mum I’ve ever had, and the best one I could have wished for.